Part of embracing my age simply has to involve losing weight. I am currently about 30 pounds heavier than I was before I had kids. Which isn't too bad, all things considered. The fact that I've been working on losing weight for 15 years and just keep losing and regaining the same 15 pounds is the frustrating part. Ideally, I want to lose 25 and keep it off for the rest of my life. Is that unreasonable? I wonder what 120 pounds would look like on my 40 year old body. My birthday gift to self is making some changes--not just the kind that get you to a goal, but the kind that you can maintain even after the goal is achieved. I have accepted the fact that for now, even a taste or a lick of a sweet would be a dangerous thing. I realize that I am an all or nothing sort and even a taste can set me off on a junk food binge. For now at least, no desserts will pass my lips. I will avoid any foods with added sugar, white flour, corn starch, etc. Artificial colors, flavors, textures and preservatives simply don't belong in my body. I wasn't designed to process it. As I age, it becomes even harder. Last week my legs were so puffy, you'd think I was 8 months pregnant. (Fortunately, my belly wasn't quite puffy enough to actually mistake me for 8 months pregnant!) So, after 7 days without refined sugar and lots of peeing, my legs are beginning to look like my legs again. Each day that passes makes it that much easier to pass up the sweets. I love fruit and the cukes, zucchinis and tomatoes that are beginning to ripen in my garden. These will be my treat. Just because I want to change my habits doesn't mean I have to stop loving food. I just need to learn to love the right foods and recognize that I love the way I feel when I eat properly. Healthy food can still be sensuous!